


Once More with Feeling

by Elektralyte



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Gen, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-17
Updated: 2016-02-11
Packaged: 2018-04-04 19:51:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4150647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elektralyte/pseuds/Elektralyte
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of short stories centered on Chichi's life nearly three years after Goku leaves with the dragon. Features her family members as well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One Thousand Days

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Character deaths. It plays fast and loose with the GT timeline so consider it AU.
> 
> Disclaimer: I write for fun, not profit. Dragonball/Z/Gt is owned by Funimation and others, but not by me.

One Thousand Days

She sits atop her mountain over looking the surrounding land. She's done this for a thousand days since "he" left for the final time. A mist clings to the shrubs below like cobwebs on faded velvet drapery. The fuss-budget in her wants to sweep it all away but what would be the point? It always comes back and nobody cares whether it's there or not. Instead she picks at the pilling of her old sweater, then stops because that doesn't matter either.

Through the fog she can vaguely see the small village below. Progress, technology, the future. They've left the village behind to languish like the memory of a spurned lover. Day by day another person leaves and soon it will be as empty as place in her heart where "he" once lived. Her eyes drift over to a corner of the town where a tiny patch of headstones bloom like mushrooms on a dew-soaked lawn. Her father, once king of all she surveys, lies buried there. The Ox King died four hundred some odd days after "he" left, just another resident escaping the dreary inertia of this place.

Seeing the headstones reminds her of a task she has today. Yamcha is having a funeral service and wake for his best friend. She should bring food, flowers too. That seems appropriate for a western style burial. Her father had a more traditional chinese funeral. Thankfully her eldest son took care of all the arrangements since she was not in her right mind.

"Is someone helping Yamcha with the arrangements?" She wonders.

"Probably," she decides. "Puar was well liked and people would want to say goodbye to the little blue cat."

Puar died nine hundred ninety seven days after "he" left. Her heart breaks a little but now she has a reason to come down the mountain.

"Gohan will have to plan another one soon," she thinks as she stands up.

Her in-law, Hercule, is gravely ill. No one knows how long he has, but it doesn't look good. Videl is an emotional wreck, and Pan talks to no one. Hercule insists on Pan having her birthday party despite the girl's protest. Everyone thinks this is a bad idea, but they haven't the heart to say no. Even on his death bed the man insists on spoiling his granddaughter. Still, it's another reason to come down the mountain.

Pan's birthday will come one thousand one days after...never mind.

A thousand days ago, Son Goku left her life for good and everyday since then, Son Chichi has been trying to start her life over. Every day she surveys her land and counts her daily tasks as blessings. And, though one by one, her friends and family are leaving her life. And, while she no longer connects with her grandchild, or anyone for that matter. And as the hole in her heart grows bigger each day, every day, she makes the decision. She will come down the mountain to start her life over.

Once more without him.


	2. If Wishes Were Fishes...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"If wishes were fishes, we'd all do the dishes..."_   
>  __  
>  _Didn't my grandpa used to say that? No? Then who? And what the hell does it mean? I don't think I'm remembering it right, it makes no sense. Nothing in my life makes sense._   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I write for fun, not profit. Dragonball/Z/Gt is owned by Funimation and others, but not by me.
> 
> Warning: Character deaths. It plays fast and loose with the GT timeline so consider it AU.

Some times it feels like I have a radio station permanently lodged in my brain. For every action that happens in my life a song turns on in the back of my head. I can hear it playing underneath the jumble of thoughts I'm trying to sort through. Other times it takes me a while to realize that there is one playing at all. It scares me, sometimes what the songs are telling me.

The song that's playing right now is _"Que Sera, Sera."_ What will be, will be.

__There are a half dozen people waiting for me to make a wish and blow out the candles on my birthday cake, and this is the song my brain choses to accompany it?_ _

__Grandma Chichi is here. So is Goten, Trunks, Marron and Bra. Mom's at the hospital but my dad is here, standing off to the side. They make a somber bunch, not very festive at all. I'm not feeling festive anyway. All I want to do is finish this quickly so that I can get back to my grandpa. He could be dead for all I know and I'm going to eat cake. It's so surreal my head's about to explode._ _

__I'm losing another grandpa._ _

__Grandpa Goku left, I dunno, three years ago. Even though he didn't actually die he's never coming back so it's really the same thing. I understand why he did it though. Why he left us I mean. That's what heroes do. They give up everything for the ones they love._ _

__But grandpa Hercule was a hero too. At least to me he was. I don't mean because he's the World Champion and all. We all know it's not really true. But that doesn't matter to me. He's just always there for me. Before he got sick, he called me everyday._ _

I mean _every_ day. 

____And he wasn't too busy saving the planet to be with me either. Grandpa was just an ordinary guy. Or an ordinary champion maybe. So he shouldn't be dying right now, right? Because he's not saving the world or anything, right? For Kami's sake what kind of Champion gets cancer anyway?_ _ _ _

____I better make a wish now before the candles burn out on their own. I don't know why, though, wishes don't come true anymore. There aren't any more dragon balls._ _ _ _

____I just wish..._ _ _ _

____I wish..._ _ _ _

_"If wishes were fishes, we'd all do the dishes..."_

______Didn't my grandpa used to say that? No? Then who? And what the hell does it mean? I don't think I'm remembering it right, it makes no sense. Nothing in my life makes sense._ _ _ _ _ _

______"If wishes were fishes..."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"What did you say Pan?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______All of a sudden my father is there, right next to me. He's wiping my tears away with a brightly colored birthday napkin._ _ _ _ _ _

______Was I crying? Did I say those words out loud? Kami, am I losing it?_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Daddy? I wish I could go see Grandpa..."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Oh Panny," he says._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Please," I beg. "I want to go now!"_ _ _ _ _ _

______A murmur can be heard beneath the sigh he lets out. I hear my grandmother nagging someone, probably Goten._ _ _ _ _ _

______"I told you this was a bad idea. That selfish old fool..."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"SHUT UP!" I scream, startling everyone._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Shut up! Don't you dare! He's not a fool!"_ _ _ _ _ _

______I turn to face my grandmother. "You're just mad because I didn't like your stupid present!"_ _ _ _ _ _

______I feel brief satisfaction at the mortified look on her face. It was a short-lived feeling however when my father grabs me by the arms and turns me around to face him._ _ _ _ _ _

______"That's enough Pan," he warns. "We'll leave for the hospital in a minute, but not until you calm down. Am I making myself clear?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______The tone in his voice says that he will brook no arguments from me._ _ _ _ _ _

______I nod my head and wait quietly for him to make arrangements. I look to the rest of my friends who have been silent so far._ _ _ _ _ _

______Bra glances at me before hesitantly reaching out. I pointedly side step her awkward attempt at comfort. This causes Trunks to shoot me a look of annoyance. What ever. I don't need his approval or censure. Marron seems to be doing her best to hide behind Trunks. She always tries to avoid confrontation._ _ _ _ _ _

______Fortunately for them my father is ready to go. He takes my elbow and leads me out the door. Out of the corner of my eye, I see my grandmother picking up my birthday cake. The candles have burned out by themselves._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Well that's okay," I think to myself as my dad closes the door._ _ _ _ _ _

______I got my wish after all._ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are a few minor changes from the original publication of this chapter. It's mostly intact.


	3. Taking Care of Business

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Why am I left to pick up the pieces? Oh right, because I'm the man of the family. I'm the eldest Son and so it's my responsibility. For crisis management, see Son Gohan._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I write for fun, not profit. Dragonball/Z/Gt is owned by Funimation and others, but not by me.
> 
> Warning: Character deaths, and some rough language from potty-mouth Gohan. It plays fast and loose with the GT timeline so consider it AU.

Pan and I arrive at the hospital in silence. What is there to say that hasn't already been said? Well, except for "I'm sorry" but I'm leaving that between Pan and my mother.

Pan hasn't said a word the entire time but she exudes an increasing amount of anxiety. She can barely contain herself by the time we reach the elevator and is repeatedly punching buttons in a futile attempt to make the elevator move faster.

"Okay, just cut that out. NOW PLEASE!" How much more annoying can one child get?

Pan gets the message and reluctantly drops her hand. When we finally reach the right floor she bolts. I shake my head at my grown daughter's behavior and stop by the nursing station to sign us in. The nurse on staff shoots me a disapproving glare.

She can just bite me.

The door to Hercule's room is open. In a chair next to the bed is the sleeping form of my wife. Pan is off to the side, unsure whether or not to wake her up. I take a good long look at Hercule's body.

Once upon a time he seemed larger than life. Even as he aged he was an out-size man with an out-sized ego. Now though, he looks entirely too small, nearly unrecognizable in his hospital bed. The tubes and machines surrounding him further the illusion. His eyes aren't quite closed and neither is his mouth. There's a slackness to his jaw that people who aren't long for this world have. I move past Pan to get to Videl.

"Vi. Vi honey, it's me, Gohan," I say giving her a little shake. It rouses her.

Videl turns her face up to look at me. Her dull, black hair lays messily around her face, and her eyes are watery with tears. For a moment I can't tell whether I'm looking at her, or Pan, or mother. It seems like all I've doing is propping one or the others lately and they all look similar in their grief.

"It's Pan's turn to sit with your dad. Let's go home."

She gives me a bleary look and says, "'kay".

I drop one person off and take another one home. Gohan's Taxi Cab at your service. When we get to the car I tell her to nap.

"Not yet," she says. "I have to tell you something."

The hesitation in her voice worries me.

"I want to tell my dad something, but I need to tell you first and (sniff). I don't. (sniff) Know how (sniff). You'll feel about it.(sniffle)" She bursts into tears now.

Kami, damnit! How is it that a couple of old men can cause the women in my life to fall apart? First Goku leaves with out saying goodbye to mom, then grandpa Gyūmaō up and dies on us unexpectedly, and now Hercule is wasting away.

Why am I left to pick up the pieces? Oh right, because I'm the man of the family. I'm the eldest Son and so it's my responsibility. For crisis management, see Son Gohan.

_Gohan, androids are coming, you have to train..._

_Gohan, a fat pink guy is trying to kill everyone..._

_Gohan, your father's gone and the house needs repainting..._

_No Goten can't take care of it, he doesn't know what to do..._

_Your grandfather's dead, I don't know what to do..._

_Someone embezzled all my dad's money, he needs our help..._

Gohan this, Gohan that. On and on they go. Everyone expects me to take care things, without complaint no less. Except for Videl who knows how I've been feeling lately. But that doesn't stop her from asking just like everyone else.

So when she says, "I have to tell you something but I don't know how you'll feel about it," she's right to be worried.

Especially when the next words out of her mouth are, "Gohan, I think I'm pregnant again."

She's right because right now, I'm pissed!

"You're not (sniff) happy about it..." It's more of a statement than a question.

"Happy? I'm ESTATIC!" I yell.

"This is exactly what we need now! Because Kami knows our life is perfect! It's not like my father-in-law isn't flat broke and dying, or that we're up to our eyeballs in dept, or my mom's nuts, or my brother's a slacker, or that my daughter's a spoiled brat who wants to go to the most expensive college ever! And just maybe I won't lose my tenure at my job through cut backs either!"

I'm really on a roll. I could go on all day and it seems like I do but all good rants must come to an end.

I conclude my vitriolic tirade with, "everything is peachy-FUCKING-keen so why not have a baby too? Even though we agreed that one kid was enough! HUH? What do you say honey?"

"I'm sorry…" she whispers.

Oh crap.

"I'm sorry." She starts to repeat it and is shaking like a leaf.

Crap, crap, CRAP! I'm such an idiot!

"I didn't mean to get pregnant, Gohan, I'm sorry..."

"Shh. Don't cry baby. Shh. please don't cry," I beg.

"I wasn't paying attention. I should have but every thing has been so hectic..."

"Shh. That's enough, it's not your fault okay? I'm a big jerk. It's going to be all right."

What the hell's wrong with me? I don't make my wife cry. I didn't even know I could make Videl cry. Usually she just shouts back or storms out of the room. In all our marriage I've never seen her break down like this. And I'm the one to blame.

"Honey, I'm glad we're having a baby, really. We'll make it work, you'll see. You believe me, right?"

Videl is much quieter, but she still has stuttering hiccups. When she looks up I can see she's a long way from believing me. Not that I blame her, I don't believe me either.

This whole time we've been standing outside next to the car and we weren't exactly being quiet. A security guard walks up with a grim expression.

"Are you all right, miss? Is this man giving you trouble?" He asks, sending me a pointed look.

For crying out loud! I open my mouth to protest but Videl speaks up.

"My husband and I were just discussing things. Sorry for being so loud," she explains sheepishly.

The guard seems less than convinced. He gives me a warning look and addresses my wife again.

"Let me know if you need anything. I'm right over there," he replies, pointing to a guard shack. He walks away but continues to look over at us.

Videl touches my arm to get my attention. I look down and she says, "let's go home."

I nod yes and wait for her to get into the car.

"I'll deal with it tomorrow," I think as I get in. 

"Yes, that's what I'll do. I'll take care of things tomorrow."


	4. Son Goten Saves the Day, Sort of...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Goten!" Chichi groaned. "This is a girl's outfit! And you can shoot powerful ki-blasts that can level buildings! Why would you want something like this?"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I write for fun, not profit. Dragonball/Z/Gt is owned by Funimation and others, but not by me.
> 
> Warning: Character deaths. It plays fast and loose with the GT timeline so consider it AU.

Goten was driving his mother back to her house after Pan's birthday party. He was having a hard time deciding whether his mom was angry or sad or both. Tonight had been a rough night for everyone, particularly for his niece. The stress of her grandfather's illness was getting to her and having a party was a really bad idea. Pan had vented her frustrations out on everybody there but Chichi had really taken it personally. Not surprising seeing as the harshest comments were lobbed at her.

Goten pulled the car into the driveway, his thoughts very much still on the night's events. A sigh issued from his mother caught his attention.

"You okay mom?"

Chichi quirked the corner of her mouth and shrugged. Goten could see the hurt in his mother's eyes and wished he could do something about it. He helped her out of the car and when she reached for birthday packages in the back seat he stayed her hand and shook his head.

"I'll take care of them mom. Go inside and have a seat."

Chichi shot him a tired look of gratitude and thanked her youngest son. Goten carefully balanced the packages, one of them was a cake after all, and followed his mother into the house.

He set the cake down on a counter in the small, spotless kitchen, then pondered what to do with the unwanted birthday gift. He hadn't seen what was in the package when Pan opened it. It was a large sized clothes box, so if Goten had to guess he'd have said his mother probably got Pan the wrong outfit. Again.

Chichi's tastes were definitely different from her granddaughter's. Goten wondered why she still tried to buy her clothes when she knew Pan would never wear them.

His curiosity got the better of him though and he asked, "So. What's in the box mom?"

Chichi gave him a pained and somewhat embarrassed look. He knew she didn't want to talk about it but he really wanted to know what was inside.

"Can I look?" He asked before setting it down on a coffee table.

"If you must," she replied with a sigh of exasperation.

He carefully pulled off the lid and looked. What he saw made him frown.

"It's like one of those optical illusions," he reasoned to himself. "No matter how long you look at it, you still can't put the pieces together."

There were several pieces too. Most were blue but the helmet-thing was kind of pink. It had a sharp, curved blade on top that looked like it could be detached and a jewel on the forehead. The rest of the of the pieces appeared be some kind of sci-fi bikini.

"You got Pan a space costume?"

For the third time that evening Chichi sighed. "No, it's my armor from when I was a teenager."

This caused Goten to pause for a moment.

"You needed armor becaaaaauuussse..." he started.

"...Grandpa was a warlord," she finished.

"Oh," he replied. Then the light came on. 

"Oh yeah! Grandpa Gyūmaō and the mountain. Yeah, I remember now." Goten nodded his head.

He sat down cross legged on the floor. He carefully turned the helmet over in his hands, mindful of it's blade. Then, something caught his attention.

"What's this button for?" He asked.

He was about to press it when Chichi screeched, "NO!"

Goten nearly fumbled the helmet, which would have been disastrous.

"It fires a laser!"

"Your helmet has a laser beam attachment to it?" 

Chichi nodded vigorously.

"SWEET!"

"..."

A bead of sweat slid down Chichi's face. She carefully wiped it off and instructed him to check the safety.

"Like this...oops." Unfortunately he had set the curtains on fire.

Goten scrambled to his feet and, after much screeching and extinguishing, they managed to put the small fire out.

"Why give her this?" He was full of curiosity now.

Chichi shrugged and explained, "I always meant to give it to her when she grew up. It's an heirloom, to be passed on from mother to daughter. Since I don't have a daughter, I thought I'd pass it on to Pan."

"Oh," Goten replied simply. 

"Maybe now wasn't the best time to give it to her," he added.

"Tell me about it. I don't know what made me think that something like this could make Pan happy when all she wants is for her grandfather to not die. I guess I just wasn't thinking," she admitted bitterly.

Goten hated to watch his mother beat herself up like this. Chichi only wanted to help Pan, after all she had gone through nearly the same thing herself not so long ago with her own father. He could see how his mom would think she understood what was going on with Pan.

She really didn't though. It was true that the two of them were passionate, loud, tough, and ready to take on the world for the ones they loved.

But they were very different in some important respects. Chichi, for instance was very traditional. Yes, she was a fighter, and in fact was Goten's first sensei, but she fought for her family, marriage and her home. Pan, on the other hand, fought for the sheer joy of fighting.

They also grieved differently. Chichi had found comfort and meaning in gifts, platitudes and mannerisms that were, again, traditional for one who was grieving. Pan however, didn't seek comforting. She wanted to experience her heartbreak, to be sad. She only sought validation for her feelings. She only wanted people to acknowledge that it was her right to be unhappy at this time.

Goten knew that this was something that Chichi would never quite get about Pan. He was fine with letting his niece deal with this in her own way. She would come through all right in the end.

His mom, however, needed some cheering up. He did have something to say that might make her happy, or at least make her forget her current worries. He was going to sit on his good news, maybe make an announcement a month or two from now. But, it seemed like his mom really needed to hear this.

"Since she doesn't want the helmet, can I have it?" He asked.

"Goten!" Chichi groaned. "This is a girl's outfit! And you can shoot powerful ki-blasts that can level buildings! Why would you want something like this?"

"For my own daughter?"

"Goten, you're not even married," his mother pointed out.

"Not yet," he answered cryptically.

"Of course not yet," his mother continued, missing the smirk on her son's face. "You're still a bachelor and dating Valese and...why are you looking at me like that?"

Goten just shrugged and grinned more broadly.

"Goten, is there something you want to tell me?" Chichi asked with suspicion.

The young saiyan casually scratched the back of his head and whistled softly. Chichi reached over and bopped him on the head.

"Tell me already!" She demanded.

"Ow, mom! Okay, okay, I...hey cut it out!" He carefully swatted away his mother's hands as she tried to pinch his ears.

"Geez, it's like I was ten-years-old," he thought to himself.

"Tell me what you're hiding!"

"I'm not hiding anything. I'm just getting married."

Chichi stared at her son in astonishment. Did her baby just say what she thought he said?

"You're getting married?"

"Yep," he answered smugly. "I asked Valese and she said yes."

She stared at him so hard that he thought her eyeballs might pop out of her head.

Then she yelled, "Are you CRAZY? How can you get married? You haven't finished grad school and you don't have a good job and you live in a dumpy little apartment and you're always broke, oh Kami, is she pregnant?"

"Hmm," Goten thought as he listened to her rant. "Not the reaction I was hoping for."

"No, Mom, she's not pregnant. I just love her and want to marry her," he began, catching her mid-rant.

"EEP!" She squeaked out oddly.

"I got a job working for Trunks. It pays well."

"EEP!"

"Valese and I are moving in together to share expenses before the wedding. It's a much nicer apartment than the one I'm living in now."

"EEP!"

"And I enrolled in weekend MBA courses so I can work and go to school."

"EEP!"

"Mom, are you okay?" Goten asked for the second time that evening.

"OH GOTEN, MY BABY IS ALL GROWN UP AND TAKING CARE OF HIMSELF AND I'M SO PROUD OF YOU GETTING ENGAGED TO A NICE GIRL AND YOU HAVE A JOB..."

Of course she was screaming this in his ear and squeezing the life out of him. It was nice to have his mom back in good spirits.

"Maybe if she could just ease up, I could hug her in return," he thought.

Super Saiyan rage had nothing on maternal ecstasy.

Finally she let go and began running around the house screeching about making wedding plans. He began carefully folding and placing the armor back in its box. Then he picked the helmet up and examined it once more.

"This really is a cool thing," he thought. "Maybe she will let me have it," he decided before accidentally discharging another beam.

Soon, another set of curtains began to burn while his mother began screaming hysterically.

"Oh well," he waxed philosophical. "It was good while it lasted."

Then he grabbed the fire extinguisher and got to work.


	5. Goodbye Old Friend, Hello New

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Yamcha took a mental trip down memory lane. When he got to the end of that little street he suddenly remembered. "You mean the little metal bikini with the laser ray helmet?"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I write for fun, not profit. Dragonball/Z/Gt is owned by Funimation and others, but not by me.
> 
> Warning: Character deaths. It plays fast and loose with the GT timeline so consider it AU.

Yamcha was sitting on the ground next to a small grave. The dirt was freshly dug and he played with it a little by picking it up and letting it sift through his fingers. The action caused him to sigh and the effort to do so cost him. He felt dizzy and needed to leave. Already the temperature was beginning to rise and Yamcha could see the wavering trails of heat vapors in the distance.

He was starting to regret burying his friend in the desert. At the time the idea had some sort of sentimental value to it. The desert was where the two of them met and was their home for so many years. However, what seemed so appropriate days ago seemed very impractical today. Yamcha hoped no one would be pissed at him for making such a foolish decision.

Yamcha took one more look around him and after brushing to dust off his clothes headed for the air car. It was time to go home.

o-o-o

Yamcha, with beer in hand, was contemplating the contents of his refrigerator. He was looking for something with lunch potential when the doorbell rang. It wasn't unusual for him to have visitors these days. People had been stopping by to give their condolences and reminisce with him about Puar. He wondered who it would be this time.

He opened the door without looking through the peep-hole and was surprised to see Chichi standing there.

"Hey Chichi, come on in," he invited.

"Thank you Yamcha," she answered while stepping inside.

She took a quick look around and Yamcha wondered what she thought.

"You have a nice place," she commented, sounding a bit surprised at the thought.

"Thanks. Um, have a seat." He pointed to the leather couch in his living room.

Chichi shook her head and explained, "I'm only here to drop off this. I have to get home and clean." She held out her hand and in it was a strip of cloth.

Yamcha stared at her outstretched hand, not quite comprehending what she was giving him. Then he realized it was a tie. His tie in fact.

"Where did you find this? I hadn't even notice it was missing."

"I found it at the grave site."

"You were at the grave? Today? It was already in the nineties when I left, you must be hot! Here, sit down and have a drink," he ordered as he set the tie down.

Yamcha moved too quickly for her to protest and was back to his kitchen.

"I have ice tea, juice or water," he called out. "What can I get you?"

Honestly, none of those appealed to her at the moment. "Can I just have what your having?"

Yamcha popped his head through the door. He held up his bottle, label out so that she could clearly see it was beer.

"Yes, one of those if you have any more, please."

Yamcha shrugged and grabbed a cold one from the fridge. After popping the cap off, he brought it into the living room with him. She was already sitting on the couch so he took the chair next to it and handed her the drink.

"Thanks," she murmured before taking a sip. She winced a bit at the taste.

Yamcha knew she wasn't much of a drinker and was surprised at her request, but didn't question it. He took the opportunity to scrutinize her. She was dressed more casually than usual. She had on a white, button down blouse and old but neat jeans. Her hair was loose which was also different.

"Sorry about the heat."

Chichi wasn't sure what he meant by that. "You don't control the weather, Yamcha, think nothing of it."

"Maybe I don't, but I think I could have found a better place to bury Puar. I don't know what I was thinking." He scratched the back of his head the way her husband used to do. It brought a little pain to her heart to see that.

"You were thinking about the best way to honor your friend," she replied when she realized what he meant.

"Don't worry about what anyone else thinks. Your job was to do right by him. We all understand. Don't worry about us, we can take care of ourselves."

Yamcha smiled at her in gratitude. Normally Chichi would have yelled at him for doing something stupid. She tended to do that with everyone. Today though, she seem different. He didn't know why but it made him want to be around her more.

"Hey, um, I know you're busy but I was about to fix some lunch. Would you like stay and have some with me?"

This so surprised Chichi that she answered yes. "Let me give you a hand," she offered.

"Nope. You stay here, this is my treat. Turn up the TV and relax."

Seeing that she had no choice, Chichi did as he asked. It was already on a sports channel so she left it on that. Ten minutes later Yamcha came out with a platter of sandwiches and raw vegetables.

Chichi followed Yamcha's example and grabbed a sandwich. She took a bite and found it was good.

"Yamcha, this is delicious! I had no idea you could cook?"

"Making sandwiches isn't cooking but thanks anyways."

He raised his half finished beer in a salute before drinking. Chichi mimicked the gesture. They then began making small talk for a bit while eating their food.

Yamcha took a moment to clear the dishes off his coffee table. When he came back he asked, "so how is everyone? How's Videl holding up?"

Chichi sighed. "Not so well I'm afraid. Hercule can pass away any day now so she's at the hospital all the time."

"I'm sorry to hear that. How are Pan and Gohan?"

"Gohan is being strong for his family, just like he was after my father died. Pan is angry at everyone. Especially me."

"What for?" He asked scratching his head. Chichi noticed then that he had cut his hair.

"He must have done it for the funeral," she thought to herself.

Yamcha looked very good in short hair. Long hair with the scars tended to make him look like a pirate. Other women might find that attractive but Chichi spent most of her adult life around wild haired saiyans so she wasn't impressed by the look.

"Chichi?"

Oops! How embarrassing, she had been caught staring. "What was the question?" She asked herself. "Oh yes, Pan."

"Well, she's angry at everyone for always making fun of Hercule. And she's mad at me for calling him a fool at her birthday party."

"Pan had a birthday party? When?"

"It was the day after Puar's funeral."

This stunned Yamcha. "Was that wise? Especially with her grandfather in the hospital..."

"See, that's what I was said, but it was what Hercule wanted and no one had the heart to say no." She explained, nearly ranting.

"Ah, there's the Chichi I know," he thought.

"And then I had to go and say the "F" word..."

"You said fu—, I mean, you dropped an "F" bomb?" Now Yamcha was shocked, and mildly impressed.

"No, no, not that! I called him a "Fool". You know I don't swear. Anyway, I wish I hadn't. It was thoughtless and now Pan won't speak to me. I can't even apologize," She said sadly.

"Give it time," he replied, patting her arm. Oddly, the gesture gave her goose bumps. The good kind, not the creepy kind.

"I guess, but she's very mad. She even threw the present I gave her back at me. Not that she liked it anyway."

"What was it?"

An uncomfortable look crossed her face. "I gave her my old armor."

Yamcha took a mental trip down memory lane. When he got to the end of that little street he suddenly remembered. "You mean the little metal bikini with the laser ray helmet?"

"You've seen it?"

"Yeah. You remember, back when we were kids? I saved you from a dinosaur?"

"Oh yeah! You wanted to be my boyfriend! Then I passed out!"

"Oh crap!" He thought anxiously. Saving her had been accidental on his part. And the whole boyfriend thing was a trick to get to Goku and his dragonball.

"Was I screwed up back then or what?" He asked himself.

Fortunately for him, Chichi was having her own embarrassing flashback.

"Dende on his Lookout! I was fourteen and still had baby fat. What was I thinking? Why did I think Pan would want that thing?"

They both snuck looks at each other. Yamcha was wearing a sheepish grin and Chichi blushed furiously. Yamcha thought it was kind of adorable and grinned a little more broadly.

Chichi thought that Yamcha may have been too handsome for his own good. Or maybe she was flushed from the beer. She wasn't sure.

"I-I really should be going now..." she stammered.

"Great," he thought. "Now I've scared her off."

"Let me walk you out," he offered.

Yamcha led her out to the air car and opened the door for her. As she moved into the driver seat, he made a spur of the moment decision.

"Chichi," he started. She looked up at him with curiosity. He anxiously rubbed the back of his neck, then knelt down to talk more directly with her.

"Do you think, um, can I call you some time? Maybe we can have dinner. And talk...and stuff..."

"Smooth move," he berated himself.

Wondering what 'and stuff' could entail she considered his request. Chichi looked in his eyes. In the deep brown depths nervousness warred with hope and desire.

"When was the last time anyone looked at me that way?" She wondered. "Not since Goku anyway..." She thought a little sadly.

Still, the look in his eyes made her feel younger than she had felt in a while and Chichi made a decision of her own right then. One that scared her a little. One that made her worry about what others might think.

"I'd like that," she finally answered. She smiled a little and added, "I still have the same number. You have it, don't you?"

"Uh hmm," he nodded. Impulsively he leaned in and gave her a peck on the cheek. He then stood up to watch her reaction.

She started up the car and pulled away before he could see her blush. Yamcha watched her slowly disappear from his sight. With a foolish grin he headed back to his apartment.

At the same time Chichi watched him walk back to his apartment in her rear view mirror. He had the easy-going swagger of a much younger man that was pleasant to look at.

"Shame on you!" She chided to herself. "Acting like a giddy school girl!"

Still, she couldn't quite wipe the smile off her face as she sped back home.


	6. Everything's Gonna Be All Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _They were having a baby that neither of them were ready for. And to be honest, Gohan wasn't the only one who thought this was lousy timing. So many things were happening, so many obstacles._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _**Disclaimer:** I write for fun, not profit. Dragonball/Z/Gt is owned by Funimation and others, but not by me._
> 
> _**Warning:** Character deaths. It plays fast and loose with the GT timeline so consider it AU._

Videl was back in the hospital again. She sat in her usual spot, next to her father. Most days this was a draining experience. Today, it was a chance for her to get away from everyone, especially her husband.

The two of them had arguments before but this last one was bad. She couldn't even call it an argument since it was mostly Gohan yelling at her. He never yelled at her like that. Never.

He had tried to make it up to her. He apologized sincerely and she knew he meant it. But she wasn't ready for it. Not yet.

It wasn't because she was angry or hadn't forgiven him for it either. She had, really. The problem was, for her to acknowledge his apology would mean them having to deal with issue itself.

They were having a baby that neither of them were ready for. And to be honest, Gohan wasn't the only one who thought this was lousy timing. So many things were happening, so many obstacles.

Money was a HUGH issue especially with her dad being broke. They were going to have to carry the financial burden of the illness and possible funeral. And with Pan being accepted into Capital City University, plus the fact that they already had some debt. It wasn't a pretty picture.

Yes money was a big issue, but it wasn't the only issue. Videl was in her 40's now. And while plenty of women were having babies this late in the game Videl hadn't planned to be one of them.

Despite everything though, she really wanted to have this baby. What she really needed was someone to talk to, some one that wasn't related to her or Gohan. She had friends, but they were university wives, like her. Gossip spread quickly around campus and that was the last thing she needed.

Videl sighed heavily and laid her head down against the bed rail.

Hercule stirred a bit, surprising Videl.

"Daddy? Can you hear me?"

Hercule spent much of the past few days going in and out of consciousness. Videl thought this might be her last chance to tell him.

"Daddy, if you can hear me...I wanted to let you know how much I love you. And that Gohan and I are having another baby."

She paused for moment, listening for a response. Nothing. She must have imagined it. But she decided to keep talking anyway because it made her feel better.

She told him everything, her fears, her worries, Gohan's fears and anger. That last little bit made Videl dropped her head in her hands weep.

"Baby…girl."

She looked up at her father. His eyes were open and his head was turned towards her.

"Daddy!" She whispered.

Hercule blinked slowly. He was trying to tell her something and it took a great effort on his part.

"Luv you," he whispered.

"Me too daddy."

"Luv Pan."

"I know."

He closed his eyes and Videl thought he was losing consciousness again but he was only resting.

"Take care...of...baby."

 _So he had heard!_ Videl felt relief flood through her. _He knows!_

"Tell Gohan..."

"Yes dad?" He rested again before going on.

"Tell...him..."

She leaned in to hear him better.

"Lighten up."

Videl was stunned. Then she laughed. For the first time since Hercule went into the hospital she laughed and it felt good! Her father was sleeping again but Videl was all right.

She knew that somehow, someway, she and Gohan were going to make this work.


	7. Four Funerals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _It has been over three years since my husband left with the Eternal Dragon Shenron and in that time I have attended three funeral services and I am about attend another._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _**Disclaimer:** I write for fun, not profit. Dragonball/Z/Gt is owned by Funimation and others, but not by me._
> 
> _**Warning:** Character deaths. It plays fast and loose with the GT timeline so consider it AU._

It has been over three years since my husband left with the Eternal Dragon Shenron and in that time I have attended three funeral services and I am about attend another.

The first was actually a memorial service for both my Goku and our friend Piccolo. Piccolo had died earlier but we never had a moment to honor his passing. So much was happening, a world still needed saving. We didn't have a body to bury anyway.

As for Goku I was in denial. I honestly believed that his going away was a temporary thing, as it had been so many other times. It took me awhile but I eventually came around to understanding that I would be long gone before Goku came back again to earth.

Gohan and Bulma planned the memorial. We planted a tree in their honor and spent the time as people do, reminiscing about funny moments and deeds both great and small. After the last tale was told we formed a circle around the tree we planted. One by one we, the friends and family of Goku and Piccolo, grasped hands, enclosing the tree inside a living chain.

We stood there in silence, unsure of what to do next, but unwilling to break the chain. Finally Bulma broke the silence.

_We are the champions, my friends..._

There was a lengthy pause after she sang that line. Just 30 seconds beyond awkward, Yamcha chimed in with his shaky tenor.

_And we'll, keep on fighting, to the end..._

Both Bulma and Yamcha looked around to see if anyone objected to their singing. They both continued, a touch out of synch.

_We are the champions, we are the champions..._

Then they were joined by Krillin.

_No time for losers 'cause we are the champions, of the world!_

We sang it three more times, with more people joining in at each rendition. It was the only way to end the service, and while I wouldn't call it closure, I'd at least say that my soul was a little more at ease by the time we left.

\---

The second funeral I attended was for my father and it was befitting a man of his stature. He was a ruler after all, even though his 'kingdom' was tiny and poor. All the villagers showed up to honor a great man who was once evil, but became benevolent and kind. 

My father died unexpectedly of heart failure. He wasn't sick as far as I know. I honestly thought he would live far longer than he did.

He was my rock in this world. While I loved Goku with all of my heart he was not the man I depended on the most. Goku had other priorities, after all, saving the world was what kept his family and friends safe. It was my father though, who provided for us when we couldn't do for ourselves. 

When my father passed I fell apart in a way that I didn't when Goku left us. Once again, Gohan stepped in and made the arrangements. He planned a more traditional style funeral which I appreciated. All I had to do was show up and cry my heart out, which I did. 

My heart is such a small thing, how could it be so full of holes? There's one for Goku and one for my dad. Kami forbid I should lose anyone else because I only have so much heart left as it is.

\---

The third funeral I attended was for Yamcha's best friend Puar. The little blue cat had many friends by the time he passed away, though I suspect that wasn't the case at the beginning. I'm sure a lifetime spent with Yamcha taught him how to make friends.

Yamcha chose to bury the little cat not to far from their desert hideout. 

I guess you can't call it a hideout anymore since we all know its location. 

There was an interesting mix of people at the service: dogs, cats, bears, and small lizard people came. Yamcha told me that Puar and Oolong went to a class reunion ten years ago and reacquainted themselves with many of their former shape-shifting classmates. 

Speaking of Oolong, he was there with Roshi and Turtle. Tien and Chiaotzu also put in a rare appearance as well as Gohan and Bulma.

I was surprised at how many of Yamcha's former Taitans teammates showed up. Apparently some of them were better friends with Puar than with Yamcha.

Bulma brought a sizeable canopy that could accommodate all the guests for the reception. I didn't know it at the time, but Yamcha had made most of the food. He may be as good at cooking as I am.

One thing that he did admit was that how much he missed his best friend. Yamcha gave a surprisingly sweet and touching eulogy.

I think that was when I first realized that there was more to Yamcha than meets the eye.

\---

Which brings me to this moment.

I'm actually lying on the grass watching the clouds go by. 

I spy one that looks like a dragon. Its dark wispy outline is offset by the small round clouds surrounding it. Should I make a wish? Do wishes even come true anymore?

Thinking of wishes and dragons lead to thoughts of my Goku. And there it is, that dull hollow ache in my chest that's been my constant companion the last few years.

Perhaps I could wish the ache away but who am I kidding? I would sooner wish I'd never met my husband in the first place. I would never do that, even to avoid the pain of loss. 

I shut my eyes so I can see Goku and his beautiful face that I miss so much!

The last time Goku left us I had a miniaturized version of him to remind me. This time, I'm mostly alone with my photo albums.

I alway get a shock when I look at those photos. He looks different. I see the imperfections that memory glosses over. His skin is rougher than I remember, there are light creases around his eyes and on his forehead that aren't as tan as the rest of his face.

He's never as perfect as I remember and I love him even more because of that.

After some time I give up my fruitless attempts at nostalgia and go back to cloud watching. I hear someone approach, tentatively.

"G-Grandma?" She softly calls out.

"Yes Pan?"

She creeps a little closer. "Are you okay?"

I prop myself up by my elbows and examine my granddaughter Pan. She's wearing a crisp white button down blouse under a smart fitted black blazer. Her skirt is on the short side but she's paired it with black tights and cute booties. 

"I'm fine, why do you ask?"

Pan looks at me as if I'm pulling her leg. "Um, because you're lying in the grass...?"

"Soooo?"

"...at a cemetery, and we're sort of in the middle of a funeral..."

Ah, this is true. Here I am thinking that I'm hidden from view. I'm sure I must look a sight. Also, this could be considered quite rude.

"So what are you doing here Grandma?"

I really don't want to explain myself. I tilt my head back and look to look at the sky again before the dragon cloud disperses.

"I'm test driving the view."

Pan is silent. Moments go by without a response before I lower my chin to look at her once more.

She's turned away from me but I can tell that she's wiping her eyes. My stomach twists at the thought that my careless response has hurt her. I should be comforting her, not indulging in self-centered introspection.

"I'm sorry Princess."

"Why would you say such a thing Grandma? Do you want to die?" 

No, dying is the last thing I want to do but I'm not ready to admit what I'm feeling. I release a breath of frustration and arrange myself in a slightly more dignified position. 

Pan and I are on a knoll overlooking a large portion of this grand cemetery. A discreet but sizable contribution from Capsule Corps funds the spectacle below. I can see my Gohan consulting with the funeral director and the security detail. They are surely deciding how to deal with the line of people waiting to pay their respects to our "great savior", Hercule Satan. 

"Stop it Chichi," I scold myself. Somehow, I have to get rid of these ridiculous, jealous, petty thoughts and focus on my family. They've lost someone dear to them.

I can't help it though. I see all these admirers and I think of all that my Goku and our friends did for this world.

None of them would want this kind of attention. Goku, Piccolo, and Puar, all had modest memorial services. My father's was the most elaborate but it was nothing like this. 

It's funny, Gohan had a hand in planning all of the services except Puar. He was also in charge of this one. Funeral planning, it's practically his second career.

It occurs to me, that because of Gohan, I've never had to plan a funeral before. I've attended them, I've contributed to them, but I've never planned one. I feel like a spectator in my own life.

I snap out of my musings when I feel Pan lean against me. She must have moved next to me while I was day dreaming. She hasn't been this close to me in a long time and I feel my throat tighten around a lump forming in it. 

"I'm tired of being left behind," she finally speaks.

"I can relate," I answer. 

"I miss my grandpa. He shouldn't have died this way!"

I rub small circles around Pan's back to comfort her. She seems to appreciate this and wraps an arm around my waist.

"No joking around about...about...dying. Okay?"

I brush hair way from her temple and give her a kiss. 

"I won't, no more jokes," I promise.

"Good, because we'd all be pretty sad if you weren't around."

Somehow I doubt this but I refuse to voice my opinion.

"Especially me Grandma."

My eyes sting with tears at her admission. I couldn't hide them from her so I purse my lips and nod my head in acknowledgement as a tear or two slips down my cheek.

Pan wipes her eyes again and with a little sniffle asks, "So what are you really doing here?"

"I like to watch clouds when I get stressed. I think the crowds were starting to overwhelm me," I finally admit. 

"I don't blame you, they were starting to get to me too." 

Pan tilts her head up to watch a few of them drift across the sky. I join her and look for my dragon cloud. It's long gone and new ones have taken its place.

"That one looks like a fish," I point out to her. She nods her head in agreement.

"If wishes were fishes..." She starts.

"We'd all cast nets into the sea," I finish.

Pan looks at me with surprise. "That's how it goes?"

"Yes. Don't you remember me saying it to you when you were little?"

She thinks for a moment before mumbling, "it was you..."

"Hmm?"

"Oh. Nothing. I love you Grandma, " she whispers.

"I love you too my Princess."

We stay in our little refuge until Gohan comes up to get us. He looks tired, but he manages a smile for the two of us.

"Mom, Pan," he says by way of acknowledgement. "How are you two holding up?"

He holds out an elbow for each of us to take.

"We've been better, but I think we'll be all right," I answer as I slip my hand through the elbow on the right.

"How is Videl holding up?"

"She's tired from the stress and the baby. She's taking a little nap in the car. We're going to have to leave soon."

Pan reaches for her father's hand instead and he obliges, clasping hers loosely.

"We were cloud watching dad."

"Really?" Gohan pauses to take a look before letting go of Pan's hand. 

"That one," he points up above us. "It looks like my Dragon Ball."

It does indeed look like the Four Star Dragon Ball.

"Wanna make a wish?" He looks back down at Pan.

"Nope, I'm good," she answers with a grin.

"How about you mom?"

I consider it, just for a fraction of a second.

_"If wishes were fishes..."_

"No. I'm good too."

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally published at Fanfiction.net but I decided to archive it here as well. I've been working on the final two chapters (yippee!) because I have an idea for a sequel based on one of the chapters. Hopefully I'll have those two as well as the new story ready to go soon!


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